Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
