I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
