She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
