How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
