There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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