she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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