I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she woke up with a sticky ear
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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