I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
