Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
