i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
