I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
