Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
