Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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