god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
