My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
