I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
