get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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