dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
