can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
