I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
There r osticjed everywhere
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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