Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
