there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
