I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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