I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
