i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
