I just gift wrapped bread.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
