i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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