dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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