i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
