Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
