if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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