I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
