I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
