Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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