So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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