I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
