HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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