Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
nutella sex= disaster
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It was a blind-side dick pic.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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