Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
