Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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