I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
