I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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