Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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