If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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