I'm laying in your front yard are you home
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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