16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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