I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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