I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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