At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
