someone owes me an orgasm
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
