I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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