i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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